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Recent Bashing Highlights

vitalik.eth
74

Alright, prepare yourself for this unsophisticated dump of a breakdown, because your wallet activities are a chaotic evidence of what happens when a crypto newbie with too much free time and an equally excessive ego plays pretend investor. This address, 0xd8dA6BF26964aF9D7eEd9e03E53415D37aA96045, apparently belonging to the "God of Ethereum" himself, Vitalik Buterin, looks more like a desperate weekend gambler who can't avoid haphazardly throwing darts at a financial dartboard. Firstly, you have scattered funds across nearly a dozen different chains like a headless chicken. Ethereum, Arbitrum, Avalanche, Base, BSC, you name it. It's like you can't commit to a single relationship and have to dip your toes in every garbage pond available. And let's not ignore your undignified activity on obscure chains like “Manta” and “Blast” with a disturbing zero balance. Are you trying to grow a collection of worthless chains to show your grandkids? Next up, your Ethereum balances themselves are a joke. Yes, you've accumulated a curiosity-provoking list of tokens, like “RyuJin,” “Ken,” and “Tigra,” among others, that nobody beyond the dark corners of Telegram GC groups knows about. Oh great Vitalik, did you really bless us with Ethereum just to sleep around with pathetic token names that resemble a C-grade anime series? Your apparent gambling addiction reflects in the near 20 million KNC tokens, tied to a project now overshadowed by dozens of already-better DeFi exchanges. Any thoughtful picks in your portfolio—like "Ethereum Name Service" with 224.48K—doesn’t save it from being a cesspit with disgraceful entries like “RyuJin” having $11K, “Ken” pumping in with $11K. Can it get any more ridiculous? The BSC escapades further magnify your apparent fetish for mediocrity. Holding BNB tokens amounting to a penny below $2400 worth, but slots in useless novelties like “Censored AI” that total up to a mere $9? It's like you shop at BSC's dollar store and think these trinkets are the new Bitcoin incarnates. The length of your asset list seems inversely proportional to your depth of thinking. Funds spread across absurd-gains fantasies and dumpster-dive crap tokens only work when you’re explicitly trying to be the king of “yet another DeFi wannabe,” not when you hold your address to a standard akin to crypto royalty. Even further out, on tertiary chains like Optimism and Polygon, you seem unable to escape the same fate: token balances subtler than your influence over the price action in any real market. Nah dude, diversify they said; diversify more recklessly than a toddler with a water hose on an ant hill definitely isn’t what they meant. Maybe you should concentrate on fewer, more intelligent, and visionary investment choices—keywords being "intelligent" and "visionary." All your meandering onto different chains and pathetic token hoarding has achieved is painting you as a confused, hype-chasing loon. If your goal was to hint at diversification, let me break it to you—you’ve merely mastered the art of being mediocre at everything simultaneously. Perhaps it’s time to get back to crypto basics, stay focused, and maybe, just maybe, use Ethereum for something that truly befits its potential. Or else, expect future generations to mock your wallet as an exhibit of circus-level cryptic idiocy.

0x4110...FED2
43

Waduh, ini alamat 0x4110258946AFd4146810C7600916Ff2bCF5BFED2 benar-benar bikin geleng kepala. Kalau mau dibilang sok kaya di dunia kripto, ini alamat benar-benar contoh sempurna dari kebodohan paling epik. Isi dompetnya macam tempo top-up token gratisan buat bajingan miskin. Lihat saja isinya di berbagai chain. Di Arbitrum, Ethereum-nya cuma punya 0.000378852036144965 ETH dengan nilai sekitar $1.03. Serius? Buat bayar parkir di minimarket saja nggak cukup. Malah sekedar punya Arbitrum Token (ARB) sebanyak 1.5583274444915078 ARB dengan nilai sebijinya nggak sampai $0.58, yah cuma sekitar $0.90 total. Udah kayak koin receh di kresek abang tukang parkir! Di chain lain juga nggak kalah ngakak. Dia punya NAPAS (ETH) di Base Chain senilai $0.17. Di BSC, paling mentok dia punya 0.0035 BNB, yang berharga cuma $1.87. Semacam burung pipit maen di sarang elang. Sisanya token-token sampah macam YOOSHI yang nilainya bahkan tidak bisa beli permen karetnya bocah kampung. Dan lagi, di Ethereum Chain dia juga punya ETH, tapi cuma 0.000843268535560635 ETH, yang nilainya cuma $2.29. Cuma bikin malu! Di chain Polygon, semangat banget punya Matic Token dengan saldo 4.221927510318906 yang nilai totalnya sekitar $1.77. Buat apa nih, buat beli nasi kucing di angkringan? Kalau kamu iseng ngeliat koinnya yang lain, sebagian besar bahkan lebih rendah dari harganya permen kaki lima. BUSD semata-mata cuma $0.0016, dan token kayak OXBULL.TECH yang nganggur juga nggak jelas kegunaannya. Jadi saran gue sih, alamat ini mendingan mogok main-main token. Lebih baik balik lagi belajar di pondok pesantren atau jadi tukang galon air karena jelas-jelas orang ini hanya buang-buang waktu dan listrik. Tanpa keraguan, dompet ini sangat berjaya dalam ke-sampah-an finansial dan udah kayak contoh buku pelajaran bagi siapa pun yang mau ketawain orang bego di dunia kripto. Intinya, kalau kamu memang mau main kripto dan trading, jangan sampai jadi bacangan kayak alamat 0x4110258946AFd4146810C7600916Ff2bCF5BFED2 ini. Si pengganti akal sehat, sudah seharusnya si pemilik alamat ini berhenti berambisi jadi sultan hanya dengan saldo yang bisa bikin anak bocah jalanan ketawa ngakak. Udah gitu pegangannya di chain-chain picisan pula. Parah banget!

0x78d9...2262
26

Yahu sen ne ayarsız bir adamsın! Hazırla gözlerin, çünkü senin bu cüzdanın evlere şenlik bir komedi malzemesi. Evet, senin bu cüzdan adresinden bahsediyorum, 0x78d952fea0AdeA76fea486420f273A6031482262. Resmen kripto dünyasının en az oturmuş tarihine sahip balinası olmuşsun, ama nasıl? Bir sürü minik minik, anlamsız tokenla... Başlayalım bakalım. İlk olarak Arbirum One'da 0.24077791654997 USD değerinde varlık var. Bu ne anlama geliyor biliyor musun? Hiçbir bok! Pet Token (PET) denilen saçmalık için beş buçuk adet coin almışsın. Yahu ne yapıyorsun, Pet Token yani ne bu, sanal hayvan mı besliyorsun? 1.14E-06 ETH tutmuşsun orada, toplasan bir çöp bile etmez! Sonra gelelim Avalanche'a. Avax'ta tam tamına 0.08216642553972132 USD var. Koca bir hiç yani! HCT diye saçma sapan bir tokendan 101 tane almışsın. Bu dağıtılana bile bakılmaz. VEE token alarak da 3 kuruş balansı geçmemişsin. Zaten fiyatları düşmüş; tam sana göre bir yatırım. Base'de biraz toparlamaya çalışmışsın galiba, 1.1697777352244214 USD. ETH olarak yaklaşık 40 cent var. Geride kalan Degen ve Build tokendan milyar tane ama değerleri sıfıra yakın. Saçma sapan. BSC'de bak biraz umutludur sandım, 45.547382329757895 USD! Yani bu kadar çok token ve değersiz coin bir araya gelmiş ki gülsem mi ağlasam mı bilemedim. Fortnite Coin, PAYU, GMT, sonrasında bilmem kaç gelecek milyon token, 1 satoshi değerinde falan. Bunları toplasan bir bozuk para çıkmaz be adam! Özellikle 13.648527573295683 USD tutan Ethereum cüzdanı var ama içerisi çöp dolu. DOP, MEME vs. gibi tokenler var. Yok arkadaş, senin kripto eğitimin yok. CTSI'nin düşen fiyatlarına yakalanmışsın. Optimism'da 0.49239614041590934 USD var. OP tutmuşsun sadece 0.37 tane o da 0.48824832 USD. ETH'nin kırıntısını bile tutmuşsun tam bir felaket! Polygon'da 2.0932407119198717 USD var. Affyn, KwikTrust, Homeety; bunlar ne demek? Koca bir anlamsızlık! İnsan Token diye bir şey var, yalnızca 33 cent değerinde. Toparlayayım, koca bir sıfır çekmişsin kriptoda. Fantastik hayallerin var belli, ama adam gibi yatırım yapmayı bilmediğin de ortada. Bol bol birikmiş saçma tokenlerle, değersiz madeni paralarla uğraşıyorsun. Yazık sana harcanan işlem ücreti bile fazla gelir. Eline geçen şey sıfır be dostum! Her türlü, evcil hayvana yatırım yapmak dışında hiçbir anlamı yok. Bu tokene tutup da büyük ihtimal sonunu bekleyenlerdensin. Yatırımlarınla sadece kendini değil, blockchain'i de kirletiyorsun. Git en iyisi, gerçek yatırım nasıl yapılır onu öğren, belki birkaç dolar kazanırsın, yoksa böyle kuruşlarla dolaşırsın. Hadi şimdi bunu sindir, belki biraz akıllanırsın!

0xC39B...C3c3
19

Ой, друг, твой криптовалютный кошелёк - это просто шедевр уныния и бедности! Давай начнем с того, чем ты вообще владеешь. На Arbitrum, Avalanche, Base, Blast, BSC, Ethereum, Flare, Linea и Manta – полный абсолютный ноль. Но, это ещё не все, подожди! На твоём кошельке на Optimism лежит аж 0.11681941576367898 долларов в ETH – это как раз хватит на половинку чашки кофе в каком-нибудь бомжёвом кафе! Прямо принято называть это "богатством". Ой, и цена-то на ETH упала почти на 4%, как больно наблюдать за этим стремительным падением твоих 12 центов. Теперь переходим к Polygon. Тут у тебя есть MATIC на сумму 14.704526991880092 долларов. Ну что ж, на эту сумму ты можешь устроить себе маленький пир – возможно, если купишь самый дешёвый фастфуд. Твой MATIC тоже не радует, цена упала больше чем на 1%. Ну а какому гению пришло в голову держать этот практически обесценившийся токен? Видимо, тебе. Нет, серьёзно, что это за кошелёк, чтобы смутанта отпугивать? Копеечная крипта, с такими богатствами у тебя разве что маршрутка до работы хватит разок проехать и всё. Небось коллекционируешь эти копейки и думаешь, что однажды станешь криптокоролём? Сразу видно, мыслитель без границ – жаль, только что ни голова, ни п***ц не подтвердят это. А что там делал на прочих сетях? Что-то пытался выделаться или просто лениво сидишь и смотришь, как твоя крипта медленно превращается в пыль? Прямо такой себе маленький пример гуманитарного катастрофического провала. В общем, братан, бери свои жалкие гроши и запихивай их в собственную копилочку. Надеюсь, ты хотя бы на Taco Bell сможешь накопить за пару лет с такими темпами. С другой стороны, всегда есть возможность всё это высосать и пожертвовать на более стоящие дела, может кто-то улыбнётся, увидев твоё пожертвование в 15 долларов.

0xFB1b...0E16
11

So you decided to play with crypto and came up with this address: `0xFB1b20184417FF5B1c67E293ad4Ec7B8c01C0E16`. Well, let me dissect this pathetic wallet and reveal its monumental futility in the crypto universe. First off, you’ve sprinkled your worthless existence across multiple chains including Arbitrum, Avalanche, Base, Blast, Binance Smart Chain (BSC), Ethereum, Flare, Linea, Manta, Optimism, and Polygon. You know what’s amazing? You’re like a cockroach that managed to sneak into every cupboard yet found absolutely nothing worth feasting on. Typically, one can trace a baller, a whale, or at least a hopeful hustler’s action. But your activity is simply laughable. Let's drill into the nuts and bolts of your lopsided financial decision-making. Across all those chains, you’ve managed to accumulate a grand total of a whopping **$1.36 worth of Tether (USDT)**. Unreal. This isn't even enough to buy a cup of coffee in most parts of the world! Your balance sits exclusively on BSC, making you look like a Binance beggar with an addiction to insignificance. The rest? Absolutely zilch, nada, nothing! It's like you’ve air-dropped yourself into a wasteland. Your balance hasn’t budged in 24 hours, probably because no one can be bothered with less than two bucks. Technically, you’re as relevant as a bag of wet socks. Your colossal zeroes across Arbitrum, Avalanche, Base, Blast, Ethereum, Flare, Linea, Manta, Optimism, and Polygon suggest you’re either terminally lazy or so clueless about decentralized finance that you’ve parked across chains hoping for some magical airdrop like a desperate hobo expecting a winning lottery ticket to fall from the sky. What were you thinking? Were you whispering Eastern European programmers sweet nothings as they set up Rug-Pull Coins? Or were you praying for some meme coin eruption that'd finally lift you out of this pit of irrelevance? Either way, you’re about as significant to the crypto world as a dead pixel on a multi-monitor setup. Your $1.36 Tether, carefully stored in BSC, isn’t going to take you anywhere. You’re not bullish, bearish, or even ‘stablecoinish’. You’re nothing, zilch, a vacuous humanoid wasting server space. In summary, your sad excuse for a crypto address stands as a testament to futility and irrelevance. Congratulations, you’re the digital embodiment of a Dunning-Kruger participant who, astoundingly, doesn’t even rise to the level of arrogance, because deep down, everyone realizes you’re not even in the fucking game. Please, for the sake of humanity, either do something or abandon this charade while we still have some dignity left to salvage on behalf of crypto enthusiasts worldwide.

0xDF00...5F1d
9

Alright, buckle up buttercup, 'cause I'm about to unleash a tirade on the pathetic excuse for blockchain existence that you call your wallet. I'd say it's like looking at a landfill on fire, but that would be an insult to landfills everywhere. Holy moly, 0xDF0097933a670Bfed5d0BB810a3bdB0023b85F1d, what an underwhelming cesspool of crusty hopping-around-nothingness you've got here. Let's break this down, alright? You’re scattered across multiple chains like an indecisive squirrel who can't remember where it buried its nuts. But just like that squirrel, turns out, you’ve barely got anything of value hidden away. First off, let's talk about your pathetic Ethereum balance on Arbitrum One. A staggering 0.0000222771618277 ETH. That's right, don't spend it all in one place, big spender. Oh wait, you can't spend it anywhere because it ain't worth a damn thing. What’s that, around $0.059 for Ethereum? You couldn’t buy a single fallen leaf with that amount. Now, when we move over to Base chain, wow, HOLD THE PRESS. You’ve got 0.000081073214176618 ETH. That's a bump to a whole $0.215 in USD! Jesus H. Christ, don't let the power go to your head. Maybe you can buy... a quarter of a latte if you’re lucky. And who can forget your dynamic dive into BSC with a 0.000844519 BNB, clocking in with the oh-so-impressive sum of about $0.479. I’ve seen kids sell lemonade on the corner and make more in ten minutes. What even is this? Linea didn’t want to be left out, throwing in another weakling 0.000150351137947732 ETH adding a noble $0.400 into your collection. Combined with other trinkets, you barely muster up enough to afford the cheapest of the cheap microwave dinners. I hope hunger ain't knocking on your door, pal. Last, but sure as hell least, we take a gander at what you've squirreled away over on Polygon. A "respectable" 1.3098942398645523 MATIC, summing to a grand $0.571! Woah, you might even be able to get a small drink at McDonald’s, assuming the damn machine isn’t broken. To round off this miserable parade of microscopic digital dust, your total “wealth” across these chains barely breaks a whopping $1.73. Your wallet's activity makes a snail race look like the Indy 500. You think you’re ballin’ on the blockchain, but trust me, you’re barely crawling. In summary, your address’s blockchain activity is the digital equivalent of lint in your pocket. You might want to turn off your computer and reconsider your life choices. Or hey, maybe just shift that absurdly tiny Ethereum balance into a sensible purchase—like a clue. You won’t even be missed in the cryptosphere. Good luck, pal. You're gonna need it.